Lab Rat
by NilesA
Summary: Bruce asks Tony to help him conquer the raging beast inside him, but in order to do that, he has to face three people from his past who have hurt him. "Who else could have made him except you? "And then you, whether it be selfishly or unselfishly, used the research on yourself, and turned yourself into the mess of a man you are now." - Drabble, possible chapters


_**Lab Rat **_

'I don't know what to do. You're here now, in front of me, and... and I don't know what to say. I've been wanting to say so many things to you, but I just don't know what.'

Bruce looked up at the green raged monster in front of him. It was a lot taller than he had remembered. Then again, he couldn't really look at himself _while _he was the beast_._ Bruce wanted to look away from the alternate version of himself, but he couldn't.

"What is he doing?" Tony's voice was heard as the doctor continued to close his eyes and imagine the monster. Tony didn't really think that this meditation bullshit would help, but hey, he would do whatever the doc needed in order to be happy.

"He's just standing there. He looks... kind of sad." Bruce replied, his eyes still closed, his head facing the ceiling.

"Do you know why he's sad?"

"...No."

"Well, can you ask him?"

"I guess."

Bruce looked up at the monster, an arm extending to touch the beast's cheek, but the Hulk pulled away.

'What's wrong? Why are you sad and not angry? Why aren't you raging and rampaging everywhere?'

The monster pointed at the bolts that were imbedded into his chest that held him down in chains. The chains were bolted into the floor as well. Bruce also noticed the beast's handcuffs on his thick wrists, not remembering them being there before.

"He has chains weighing him down. He can't move." Bruce replied.

"Good, then he can't do any more harm. I think we're done here."

Bruce heard Tony stand up from the leather chair and held out his hand, keeping his eyes closed, still fixated on the beast in front of him in his mind. "No, stay! This is helping."

Tony sighed and sat back down. He crossed his legs, getting a little bored already. "Okay. So...what next?"

"I don't know. _You're _the one who's supposed to be guiding me through this."

Tony looked out the window briefly, seeing the busy streets of Manhattan below them. "Can you ask him how he got chained up that way? Who did that to him?"

'Who did this to you?'

The beast slowly lifted a thick finger and pointed it to Bruce.

'Me?'

The monster nodded.

'What do you mean, _me_? I didn't-'

The beast roared and Bruce could feel the warm breath of the Hulk on his face, the foul odor seeping into his lungs.

'Okay, okay, so _I _did this to you. I-I'm sorry, but I don't remember doing such a thing. As much as I have...well... mixed feelings towards you, I'm sure I wouldn't do something like that. It looks painful.'

The monster huffed out his nose and frowned.

"What did he say?" Tony asked, fiddling with his tie.

"He says that_ I _did it to him."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "You say that as though you find that a surprise."

"I do."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't."

"Who else could have made him except you? Weren't you the one who was doing research for that... what's his name, that 'Ross' guy? And then _you,_ whether it be selfishly or unselfishly, used the research on yourself, and turned yourself into the mess of a man you are now. Is that right, or was I skim reading when I read your files?"

Bruce rubbed his forehead. "But Ross was the one who ordered us to replicate the Super Solider Serum. He-"

"That doesn't matter, Bruce," Tony said as he leaned in. "_You_ were the one to do it. No one _told_ you to do it. No one said that it was safe, no one said that it was ready."

"No one would say it was ready until it was tested, Tony. You should know that, being a mechanic. Everything needs testing."

"Yes, but, buddy," Tony said as he leaned in further, whispering in Bruce's ear. "You used yourself as a _lab rat_."

Bruce furrowed his brow. "...So? What does _that_ mean? Of course I did. I don't think we need to address this again. Can we move on, please?" He wanted to open his eyes, but he knew he shouldn't. The monster that he was standing in front of was starting to disappear, his features becoming warped.

Behind the beast, he saw an image of his younger self injecting the serum into his arm, groaning and falling to the cold tile floor.

"I'm losing him, Tony. You gotta bring me back to him. What do I tell him?"

Tony leaned back in his chair and ran a finger down his goatee. "Ask him how you can make it better."

'How can I make the pain go away?'

The monster grunted, his mouth opening to speak. 'Let. Me. Go.'

Bruce furrowed his brow in his dream as well as real life. 'Let you go? I can't let you go, the chains are tying you down!'

The beast roared, thrashing his arms about. 'NO. BANNER CAN SET THEM FREE. BANNER HAS THE KEY.'

'Key? I don't see any keyholes.'

The beast grunted again, and turned. Behind him were people from Bruce's past. One of them being General Ross himself, the other being Betty, and the last...his father.

Bruce put up his hands, almost in defeat. 'No, Hulk, buddy, make them go away. Those people- they only hurt us. I can't reason with them.'

'BANNER GOT HURT, NOT HULK.'

'But you're a part of _me,_ so they hurt you too. Didn't they?'

'HULK ONLY GOT STRONGER.'

The beast looked into his eyes, the stare piercing through his very soul. Without words, Bruce understood what he meant now.

He had to come to terms with these people in order to control the monster. Hulk didn't want to be strong. At least, not the Hulk in his head. Maybe he was tired of seeing Bruce cry. Maybe he was afraid of Bruce since he seems to be the only person the beast listens to. Maybe the two of them could co-exist more peacefully. Maybe this was the proper solution, instead of trying to get rid of him altogether.

Tony was wondering why the doc's response was taking so long. "So what happened? What'd he say?"

"Oh, sorry. He uh... He told me how to help him."

"And?"

"And I don't... I don't-" Bruce thrashed his head about, feeling his body go tense.

Tony let out a hand, and Bruce grasped it, holding as tightly as he could. "'You don't' what, Bruce?"

"I don't want to do this anymore. Make me wake up."

Tony couldn't help but to chuckle at the hypocrisy of the doctor. "You're not under any sedation whatsoever. And I sure as hell didn't say any fancy words to you. You can open your eyes if you want. But you aren't. So I think you really, secretly, deep down, _want_ to do this."

Bruce turned his head away from Tony, his hand gripping Tony's tighter. "I really hate it when you're right."

Tony chuckled again. His voice was calmer and more sincere now that he saw how troublesome this really was for the doctor. "Now, what did he say you needed to do to help him?"

Bruce took a deep breath before he answered. "He said I needed to talk to people from my past. Come to terms with them."

"And they are?"

"Betty."

Tony nodded, seeing that that one was a no brainer. "Okay, who else?"

"Her father. Ross."

Tony nodded, "Okay, kind of figured that one too. Anyone else?"

"Yeah."

"Who?"

"..._My_ father."

Tony furrowed his brow. Bruce didn't tell him much about his childhood since his stay at Stark Tower, now the home of the Avengers. "Your father?"

"Yes."

"Why is he there?"

"I don't want to tell you at the moment. This is between me and the Other Guy."

Tony nodded and let it slide. "Alright. Who should we start with first? Betty?"

"No. Ross."

"Alright." Tony adjusted himself in his seat, letting Bruce continue to hold his hand. "I'll be Ross. He's standing there in front of you. This isn't bad Ross. This is 'listening Ross'. He will listen to everything you have to say. He won't leave until you're finished. Now... what do you need to tell him?"

Bruce imagined the General standing in front of him- the badges on his uniform that he probably deserved only through doing heartless things, the smell of cigar smoke coming from his clothing. The man held his hat in his hand that was down by his side. His expression was blank, his mouth hidden behind his grey mustache.

Bruce opened his mouth in his head, and in the real world. "I want to tell him that he's one of the biggest assholes that I've ever met. That my anger is towards _him_. I'm afraid of him and what he can do to me, but I also... I also want to kill him. I want him to suffer like I did. I want to hunt him down like he did to me. I want to take away his daughter and tell _him_ that he can't ever see her again, because HE'S THE BEAST AND NOT ME."

"Woah, woah, Brucie, calm down. Shhh," Tony rubbed the doctor's hand. "It's okay. It's not the real Ross. But this Ross wants to know why you call him the beast."

"Because he used me and my research. I didn't know he wanted to make an army out of it to begin with. I was being used from the start. And because it didn't turn out the way he wanted, because I hurt people in the process, on accident... he took everything I had and loved away from me. It's not fair."

Tony saw a tear fall down Bruce's cheek. "It's ok. I know. Life isn't fair." He rubbed Bruce's hand gently for a minute before speaking again. "Ross listened to everything you had to say. What is he doing now?"

"He's... his expression didn't change. He just nodded."

The Hulk closed his eyes, and Ross disappeared, leaving Betty with tears in her eyes beside him.

"Did he go away?" Tony asked, his voice still calm.

"For now, yes. But Betty looks rather upset."

"Of course she does. You just told her father to fuck off."

Bruce chuckled but returned to his serious state. "...She looks so beautiful."

"Does she?"

"Yeah. Her long black hair is framing her face. Her eyes have tears in them. Her lips are quivering. I just want to hold her."

"Then why don't you?"

"Because I'll hurt her."

"Why will you hurt her?"

"Because I always do. No matter if it's me, or the big green guy, she always ends up being the one to suffer. I can't do that to her anymore."

Tony pursed his lips, "Why don't you tell her that?"

"She already knows. That's why I left, remember?"

Tony nodded. "Yeah. But you also told me before that her father was chasing you, so you felt _forced_ to leave. Are you upset because you wanted to stay?"

"...Yeah."

"Tell her that, then."

Bruce wiped a tear away from Betty's cheek, wrapping his index finger around a lock of her long black hair. 'I'm sorry I couldn't stay.'

'It's not your fault, Bruce. It was everything.'

'I know. But,' he began as he wrapped his arms around her, her cheek resting against his chest, 'I wasn't strong enough to fight him. I wasn't strong enough to fight for you.'

'Bruce," Betty looked up at him, her big eyes glistening in the light. 'You _did_ fight for me. You did all you could. If you would have stayed, my father would have found you eventually. Someone would have.'

'I was on the run for so long, and now that I've become stagnant, I don't know what to do with myself. They say I'm part of their family, but-'

'It isn't what you want," Betty finished his sentence as she caressed his cheek.

'Yes. I wanted that family to be with _you_.'

Betty bit her lip. 'It's okay. I know where you are now. When we're both ready, I'll come find you.'

Bruce smiled only for a second, and then looked down at the ground. 'How will I know that's the truth? You're only the Betty in my mind. How do I know you haven't moved on already? How do I know if I'm wasting my time thinking about you?'

'Bruce, I don't understand.'

The scruff man took her by her hands, and held them gently as if they were porcelain. 'I need to let you go from my heart. I'm wasting my time loving you when I don't even know where you are. I don't even know if you still love me. So until you come to find me...' he placed a kiss slowly on her lips, 'I'll try to not love you so much.'

Betty disappeared with the kiss, her tears being the last thing to go.

"So what's going on?" Tony asked, worried since he hadn't heard anything from Bruce in a while.

"I... I let her go."

Tony wasn't expecting that response. "You mean after all this time I heard you talk about her and complain about you missing her, you just let her go?"

"It's what I had to do."

"But you love her-"

"Tony," Bruce turned to him, his eyes still closed. "No. I don't want to hear anything more about me making the wrong decision, or what wasn't best for me. It was what needed to be done. Now can we move on?"

Tony nodded, wishing that he could comfort the doctor better.

"I said, can we move on?"

"Oh, yes," Tony realized that he needed to voice his answer because Bruce still couldn't see him. "Who's the last one? The big Daddy O?"

"Yeah."

Tony took out a piece of gum from his pant pocket and stuck it in his mouth, "Are you gonna tell me about him now?"

Bruce bit his lip. "Well... he hurt me a lot. Me and my mom."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Verbally or-"

"He hit me. Called me names. But mostly he hit mom. I would lock myself in my room and my books would keep me company. He called me a monster and told me that he wished I was never born. He became an alcoholic after he lost his job, and beat my mother to death. There... isn't much more to say than that, Tony."

Tony nodded and hummed. "...I'm so sorry."

"No need to be."

There was an awkward pause and Tony began fiddling with his gum wrapper. "So how does the big guy need to be rid of him?"

Bruce looked at the shadow of his father, viewing him from lower on the ground like he did as a child. He turned to look at the green monster, the chains making clanking noises as he roared. The sight of Brian Banner made the beast rage within him.

"He's not talking to me, he's just thrashing about," Bruce said as his breath quickened.

Tony leaned in closer and took hold of Bruce's hand once more. "It's ok, try and calm him down."

"I _can't._ He's just screaming. Dad's just standing there." Bruce felt his eyes begin to water. But he wasn't supposed to cry. Not now. Not in front of Dad.

"What do you want to tell him?" Tony asked, his voice as soothing as he could make it.

"I-I-I don't even know."

There was a woman's scream, and Bruce turned, seeing his mother and her long flowing brown locks laying on the kitchen floor in defeat. His father's eyes caught his own, and he knew that he was next.

'What do you want? What do you want me to do, Dad? I did nothing wrong! Stop hurting us!' Bruce spoke in his child voice, but his father kept approaching.

The shadow of his father formed a fist and reached out for Bruce, but instead of hitting him and pushing him to the ground, Bruce grew in size and became the Hulk himself, free of chains. 'STOP HURTING US. YOU KILLED MOMMY. NOW WE KILL _YOU_.'

Hulk didn't hold back his punch as he hit the ghost of Brian Banner.

Bruce turned his head, gripping Tony's hand. "Okay, wake me up, wake me up, I'm done for today."

"Why, what happened?"

"Just _wake me up, Tony_!"

Tony stood and shook Bruce by the shoulders. "Hey, open your eyes. Hey. Hey!"

Bruce shook his head and opened his eyes and blinked multiple times, putting a hand on his heart. "What did the monitor say?"

"You were just about to reach the danger zone, but I think you knew that."

Bruce breathed heavily and sighed, resting his head against the back of the leather chair. "I... I failed myself."

"No," Tony said as he sat back down with a sigh as well, "You did good. That was only your first time, and look how long we've been doin' this."

Tony pointed to the clock, seeing that it was an hour and a half past the time they started.

Bruce looked at the clock, and then back at Tony. He even checked his own wristwatch in disbelief. "What? We were doing this that long? It didn't seem that long."

Tony nodded, chewing his gum. "That Daddy part took the longest. You barely said anything to me. But your heart rate wasn't going too high, so I let you go do what you had to do."

"...Wow."

"Yeah, that's what _I_ said."

Bruce ran a hand through his curly hair. "Um.. well, thank you for doing this with me."

"Anytime. Gum?" Tony handed over his pack of cinnamon gum. "It helps anxiety."

Bruce chuckled. "There's only one left. You should have it."

"I chewed the whole pack just sitting here listening to you. _You_ should have it," Tony smiled. "It might do you more good than those experiments you make for yourself."

Bruce took the last piece of gum, and Tony stood up, and began cracking his back. "So I'll see you for another session tomorrow? Or whenever you're ready?"

Bruce looked up at him, half of the gum sticking out of his mouth. "Wha? You're actually agreeing to do this again?"

"Of course. This was just the first test. Everything needs proper testing before it's set out into the world. I should know that, being a mechanic, and all."

Bruce smiled, glad that Tony was listening to him, even when he wasn't in his right mind and making arguments to hide his insecurities. "Haha alright."

Tony made a little skip out of the room. "Now, I don't know about you, but I'm getting lunch. Come on, lab rat."


End file.
